An attempt to be nice about "My Jeans"

So, after Rebecca Black's "Friday", I thought that we had finally scraped the bottom of the music barrel. 


Then Jenna Rose came along...

...and everything was much worse.

This time, however, instead of being a misery guts and complaining about the terrible music and the fact that there are ten-year-olds driving a car to an unsupervised mall trip in skirts that are too short for any girl to wear and that creepy teenage boys are taking pictures of the girls and that in the end, the jeans are just really horrible...


Sorry, rambling.


As I was saying, this time I'm going to try to salvage what I can from this train-wreck song.

Before we can proceed, you have to watch the video and hear it for yourself:

Yes, admittedly it is not the easiest song in the world to endure listen to, but it has a few positive elements. By analyzing the lyrics further I am sure that they can be found. 


Staring out my window, I brush my hair
Getting dressed to meet my friends but I don't know what to wear


So far, not the most inspiring lyrics, yet bearable nonetheless. 


Commercial shows on my TV about these cool designer jeans that I tried on at the mall
Change the channel and look what I see: 


An interesting twist?


Hannah Montana's wearing my jeans. Ashley Tisdale's wearing my jeans, Keke Palmer's wearing my jeans 
I just can't believe they wore those jeans like me 


She can't believe that they're wearing the same jeans, but she can believe in Hannah Montana? Maybe she only exists in Disney Channel world. Maybe this song is her way of trying to escape her purely electronic existance? (Admittedly, I have been watching too much Doctor Who)


Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh 
She wore those jeans like me 
Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh 
She wore those jeans like me (like me like me like me x 100000)


Just taking a wild guess, but I think they may have been wearing the same jeans that she tried on?


Staring through the mall window my fingers drew a smile 
I thought about how cool I'd look if I had them on right now 
I'm anxious, excited, they're on my mind it feels like Heelys are racing on my spine 
I just can't wait to call these my jeans 


If everyone on Earth was as excited about new jeans as miss Jenna Rose, we would have fewer wars. We'd all have Heelys racing up our spines. Doesn't it give you goosebumps?


everyone can look at me and my jeans 
I can go anywhere in my jeans but I still can't believe she wore those jeans like me 


She has granted you permission to look at her and her jeans. Such generosity in one so young.


Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh 
She wore those jeans like me 
Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh 
She wore those jeans like me (like me like me like me x10000000000000)

Again, just taking a wild guess, but they're still sharing similar taste in denim wear?


1 here comes the 2 to the 3 not it's the T.R.I. double G. 
why she got those cool new jeans that sittin' in the J.E.T. but she's fly 
you might see me in a video or a TV show, MTV, Nick, HBO 
Jenna could be a model in a fashion show--look there she goes 


This rapping dude is too random to analyse. He's rapping about a ten-year-old being a model.


ABC 123 that girl wore her jeans like me 
I bet she's mad, 'cause I look fab 
ha ha ha ha jack my swag 
sticks and stones may break my bones 
but mine look new and her's just look so o-old so o-old so o-old


Creative use of the fundamentals of reading, writing and mathematics in the first line could be an indication of a life outside of the mall. Also, the self-glorifying lyrics indicate that she may one day become a mean  plastic  socially assertive woman.


Oh my look at those jeans they should be posted in a magazine 
matter fact let me get my phone you can strike a pose 
smile for the camera FREEZE! 
What? Trig bought a new Blackberry What? Trig bought a new Blackberry What? Trig bought a new Blackberry--ah just take the picture already! 
sorry I was stuck in a daydream when I bought those jeans


The poor rapper seems to be stuck in a glitch in the matrix or something. Either that or he has amnesia and keeps forgetting his line. And why is he taking sneaky photos of her anyway? So creepy.

Ok, I've tried. There is nothing to salvage from this song. In fact, I would not be surprised if it was written for the sole intention of making the human race give up on music.


Friday and jeans: two things I love now forever tainted with the memory of these two horrible songs.


Thanks a lot.

"Ha ha ha ha jack my swag"