A Late Introductory Post

This is my blog. It is not flashy or pretentious (well, it tries not to be) but it is there for me. You see, I suffer from something called “Really Annoying Selective Insomnia” or RASI.

RASI basically works like this:

When you really really really really need to be awake all night, you sleep and when you really really really really want to be asleep, you can’t.

Now, I’ve tried everything – reading, writing, warm milk, counting sheep, etc., but it does nothing to affect my sleep pattern. I can lie in my bed, snuggled up tight, but my eyes are wide open.

It’s not that I’m not tired. I’m exhausted. I need the sleep. It’s just that my body won’t let me have it.

At the same time, I’ve been planning on starting a blog. As you may know, it’s hard to make it in the cut-throat world of the blogosphere. Very few blogs are deemed worth reading and the ones that are all have a spin. Perez Hilton gossips, Allie Brosh tells amazingly funny stories with the epicest (I am inventing that word) drawings in the entire world.

So I needed a gimmick. Something that would make the world stop and stare. And then it came to me, as I lay there, counting my ceiling tiles. Write whatever you want. Seriously, write whatever you want, as long as it comes from a place of sleeplessness.

And that is the idea driving this blog. If I can’t sleep, I write a blog post. I know I posted earlier this morning, but I felt that I should perhaps, explain the concept behind my randomimity (another word that I am coining). I am currently typing on almost a day without sleep. Pretty messed up.

Anyway, now you understand that I am not just jumping on the bandwagon and that I actually have a very important reason for having one of these things.

Peace, love and sausage

Cath x

Isn't this the cutest clip-art owl you've ever seen?

The real South Africa

Ok, so I’m South African and (gasp, shock and horror) I am using the Internet.

There are many misconceptions about my country and what most people don’t know is that South Africa is one of the best places to live on Earth. Sure, we have to pack fresh mud on our houses everyday to stop them cracking under the heat of the sun, but that’s just the price you have to pay for living somewhere so awesome.

What I have compiled below is an explanation for all foreigners to set the record straight. By answering some frequently asked questions (all of which have actually been asked to me), I hope to enlighten all those who don’t know what a great place this is.

Cath’s FAQs on South Africa:

Question 1:
“How did you get a computer in Africa?”

• It was a very lucky day. After dodging a dozen drunk guys on elephants and humanely sedating a couple of lions, we were able to get to the computer store and pay fifty bucks (kudus, I think they were) to the nice lady working there. I thought it was quite a bargain. The computer freezes a lot, so we normally use it outside.

Question 2:
“Do you guys have Internet there?”

• Of course. We’ve actually gone wireless, so that we don’t have to go outside. Lions are not friendly, I don’t care what Disney tells you.

Question 3:
“Do you guys have dinosaurs there?”

• I think you may have us confused with the Flintstones. You see, it’s generally believed that dinosaurs became extinct about 230 million years ago. Sorry.

Question 4:
“Do you kill buck for food?”

• Only off-season, when tourists are scarce.

Question 5:
“Do you have tigers in your backyard?”

• Only when we holiday in India.

Question 6:
“Do you live in huts?”

• We prefer the term “biodegradable dwelling”.

Question 7:
“Why aren’t you black?”

• Bloody agents.

Question 8:
“So how long did it take you to how to speak English?”

• How long did it take you to learn how not to speak English?

Question 9:
“Do you guys really wear animal skins?”

• I thought jungle prints were in this season.

Question 10:
“So these Zebra crossings that I hear about...”

• Yes. Yes, they are for Zebras. Anything else that tries to cross at a Zebra crossing is shot and eaten.

This country is great. I hope that this shed some light on what it really means to be a South African.

See you next summer!

Just check the view from my house!

Update: I'm still receiving some wonderful theories on what South Africa is like from those overseas. I love it.