If real life was like the movies

We all know that it isn't. A day in your life would prove it. However, don't we all wish that life would work out the way it does for the hero or heroine of a movie? Don't we all secretly wish life would be as easy? Well, that got me thinking about what it would be like if life imitated art and not the other way around.

1. Instead of stomping off after a shouting match, you would stare aimlessly into the distance

I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but after every argument in a movie, one of the people storm off and the other looks away and quite literally stares into the distance for as long as the editor allows the shot to continue. This is arguably one of the most surreal things in the movies. I've never had an argument where I've thought "Hmm, let me think about what just happened" right after the altercation. It's just weird.

2. You would never need to lock your car

Unless it is a direct part of the plot, cars in the movies never get stolen. This is even with the owners leaving the doors unlocked, windows open and car radios in their cradles. This combination in South Africa would guarantee the illegal removal of your car.

3. Trivial things like the laws of physics would not apply to you

If you were the hero of your story, you would be able to dodge almost anything, escape so narrowly that you should actually be dead and launch yourself off of any height and still reach your destination without so much as a  scratch. For more details see '2012'.

4. Getting onto computers would be a much noisier, less purposeful affair.

Instead of pressing a few keys and clicking a couple of times, you would need to bang aimlessly on the keys, all the while staring at the screen. To everyone else, this would look ridiculous but within seconds you would be able to access anything on the computer.

5. Your worst enemy would always have an easy password.

And they'd leave it lying around.

6. You would wake up in the morning with perfect hair and make-up.

Have you ever seen bed-head in a rom-com? Yeah, me neither.

7. If you're a cop, you will get fired at some point

It will be at the critical point of a case, you will mope, someone will visit you, you'll pursue the case anyway, you'll catch the bad-guy and somehow you'll get your job back. 

8. In a high-speed chase, the traffic magically parts for you

Cars, vans, busses, trucks, nothing is exempt. When you're the hero and you're chasing the villain, you are the boss of the road.

9. Your best friend never dies

He should - he inhaled a truckload of smoke, but somehow after the heart stops for good, the heart starts again. It's a miracle! Everyone's happy! Boom - credits!

10. If you are a nerdy male, prepare to get the girl just as you are, if you are a nerdy female, prepare for an extreme make-over

The nerdy guy, after proving his dependability throughout the adventure, eventually steals the heroines heart. The nerdy girl has to have a hair-cut, her eyebrows plucked, her wardrobe reinvented and about half a ton of make-up smooshed onto her face, just to make sure that the hero sees her personality.

So, I guess life would be better if you lived in a movie, but everything would be so predictable that you'd have to ask yourself - would you want it like that?

This picture has nothing to do with the post