Avery-body should see 'Rio'

You're supposed to out-grow them as you get older, but I have never stopped loving animated movies. For the hour and a half you sit in that cinema seat, you are given a chance to laugh at juvenile things that should no longer be funny, allow yourself to become emotionally attached to the characters and in general re-explore your childhood. Rio was a perfect example of this.


The movie centres around a Blue Macaw with the extremely creative name of 'Blu' (Jesse Eisenburg) who lives with his doting owner Linda (Leslie Mann). Blu has become so domesticated he's very nearly almost human and lives a perfectly happy life in the small, wintry town of Moosetown, Minnesota. However, his comfortable life is shaken up when he discovers that he is the last male of his species and must make the long trip to Rio De Janeiro to meet the last female, Jewel (Anne Hathaway) in order to save the species. What follows is a fast-paced exotic adventure filled with evil monkeys and cockatoos, hip-hop birds and a fruit-wearing bulldog.


The movie was made by the same people who made Ice Age and you can tell that they had a blast making this movie. The whole movie is beautifully animated, from the breathtaking scenery to the extremely detailed animals.Whereas Ice Age's palette is somewhat limited by the fact that everything is set in snow and ice, Rio bursts with life and colour. It perfectly captures the excitement and freshness of the rain forests and also the thrill and celebration of Carnival.  The quality of the CGI work almost makes you believe that the characters are real, which strengthens the attachment to them. 


There are some brilliant vocal performances as well. Eisenburg, who I have only ever seen play a somewhat understated character, wrings out whatever excitement he has in his voice for the role of the lovable parrot. At  times it's hard to believe that it's the same actor who played Mark Zuckerburg in The Social Network. Anne Hathaway, apart from doing an excellent job as the hardcore, take-no-nonsense, female parrot, is also given the opportunity to use her amazing singing voice. Other notable vocal performances include George Lopez as the fatherly toucan, Rafael; Jamie Foxx and Will.i.am as the awesome hip-hop toucans and Jemaine Clement (of Flight of the Concords) as the twisted and evil cockatoo villain, Nigel. The soundtrack to the movie is amazing, featuring Carnival-inspired music and amazing songs performed by the very talented cast. 


All that said, I did have a few problems with the movie. Some of the plot, I feel, was a little underdeveloped. There were some back-stories that were not really addressed and as a result, a particular character's motive for acting as they do was slightly lost on me. Another thing that annoyed me, having had experience with pet parrots before, was the steaming cup of cocoa that the owner presents Blu at the beginning of the movie. Chocolate is toxic to parrots, so giving him that cup of cocoa with chocolate chip cookies and all, would have most certainly killed him. While I know that the movie is not supposed to be particularly realistic, given that all the animals can talk, I do feel that any parrot owner going to see the movie would have cringed at the lack of research at this point.


That aside, I really did enjoy the movie. It was a refreshing escape into an exotic world of animals and brilliantly lit floats. It's a fun movie to take kids to or just to go watch on your own and pretend to be a kid. I give it a 3 out of 5.

Best animated movie I've seen in a while

Beatles in my Radio

Children always seem to have these weird assumptions as they come to terms with the world they're living in. As they grow up these assumptions are replaced with fact and slowly the magic of childhood dies. 


I remember realising that I could jump from the garden table flapping my arms as many times as I like, but I would never fly. I also remember learning that the stories my dad told me about Neil Armstrong and the alleged man on the moon were not the same thing. I used to think that the poor guy got left behind and I used to always pray for him to find a way home. It was only later I learned the difference between seeing a man's face in the moon and actually being a man on the moon.


Slowly but surely, you start seeing how the world fits together and it starts making sense. The more sense it makes, the less fun it is. Luckily, to this day, I have a constant reminder of my carefree take on the world. 


My dad is a huge Beatles fan. I remember it being pretty much the only music that he ever played in the car. The effects of this are still present in my taste in music today. Long road trips were the best because we got to listen to all the songs without interruptions. I loved the Beatles and the thing that I found the most fascinating about them was how they could sing for all that time. You see, I used to think that the Beatles lived inside the radio. I used to think that all musicians lived in the radio. I always imagined them in a little city. When it was their turn, they stood on a little platform and performed. 


I always admired the stamina of the Beatles. They could play for hours without stopping. The lazy people on the radio would only sing one song at a time, but the Beatles would sing twenty songs easily. It sounds silly now, but I think that's why they're my musical heroes even today. They were amazing.


Things started to get confusing for me when someone on the radio said that it was the anniversary of the death of John Lennon, one of the Beatles. I kind of knew what it meant when someone was dead and it confused the heck out of me. If he had died, then how on Earth was he still singing in the radio? My poor head couldn't wrap around this new bit of information.


It wasn't long after that that I confided in one of my parents (I can't remember which one) that I thought that people lived in the radio and I was worried about the Beatles not being able to perform anymore. They calmly explained  the concept of recording, which I'm sure went way over my head, and managed to convince me that there were no little men in the radio.


I now know a fair bit about recording, I even did job-shadowing at a small recording studio, but every time I listen to the Beatles I like to remember the little men in my radio who used to play the soundtrack to my childhood. Gone, but not forgotten.

How I imagined them in my radio

My Ultimate Birthday Present

Wow, I haven't blogged in quite some time. I really wanted to, but I had a small case of writer's block. Anyway, I finally came up with something to write about.


I really like our planet. It's the perfect distance away from the sun, has the perfect conditions to sustain life and it contains humans. Humans are pretty cool, even if some of us are a bit dysfunctional. Now, that may sound random,  but it's one of the reasons that I would rather stay put on my planet than go to the moon. This reason combined with my slight fear of the unknown and my considerable fear of heights mean that the idea of having to go into outer space is a huge phobia of mine. I wonder if there's even a name for that? Ah, there is: Astrophobia.(I love Google).


So despite all this, the one thing I would really love for my birthday (which is in a couple of weeks, so you can start saving up ;D ) is a TARDIS. For those of you who don't know, that stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It's essentially a space-ship, or a time machine, depending on how you want to use it. This is how it looks:

And this is how it looks on the inside:

None of it makes much sense, unless you watch Doctor Who (which I really recommend you do, it may surprise you).


Okay, I'll admit it, I'm becoming a huge Doctor Who fan. I find that strange, because I really don't like space aliens. (I just Googled the name of that fear and it falls under Astrophobia. How lame.) The first alien I can remember getting freaked out by is E.T. Please don't try to tell me that I'm being stupid; that movie very nearly ruined my childhood. He's all brown and leathery and bug-eyed. Then he gets sick and he's all pale and ghostly. Not very long after seeing that movie for the first time, I made a friend who was very fond of sci-fi. I say "very fond" but she was kind of obsessed, especially with the X-files. We used to have sleep-overs at her house and she'd make me watch it with her before we went to bed. I was 11, so I guess it's a little bit sad that I was as freaked out by it as I was, but her room was in the attic and her house was old and drafty. 


I still really don't like the idea of an alien invasion. I don't really believe in them, but I'm still freaked out by the thought; sort of like how people who don't necessarily believe in ghosts would still check their closets before going to bed after seeing a horror movie. The movie District 9, which was set in South Africa was a little unsettling for that reason. Aliens in Joburg? I know I'm in Cape Town but still... *Shivers* 


I am finding though, as I slowly become a grown-up, that I'm a little less freaked out by aliens nowadays. Or rather that my fear has become rather selective. I'm not so scared of these kind of aliens:

But I'm pretty darn terrified of these kinds of aliens:

Man alive, they're creepy.


Luckily there aren't any in Doctor Who (from what I've seen so far anyway). Which is why I can safely watch it without having to check under my bed before I sleep. 


Ok, so back to the TARDIS. I don't want it to explore space. Really, the less I see of space, the better. I like to look at photos of it from within the Earth's cozy atmosphere, but I wouldn't want to go sight-seeing. I want the TARDIS so that I can go back in history. I've always wanted to see ancient Egypt, ancient Rome, the 1800s, a Beatles concert... With a TARDIS, I could do that. 


I do sound a little bit insane, but that's okay because I am insane. I can't really think of anything else I'd like for my birthday. So since it doesn't exist, I guess I don't really want anything for my birthday. How strange. 


I know there are people reading this who won't have a clue of what I'm rambling about, but since I have no idea what the people who read my blog want to read about, this is what you're getting.


Anyway, I've just realised how tired I am. I've also just realised that I've planted that freaky alien picture in my mind. Fail.


Good night and thank you for reading all this nonsense. You must have much patience to sit through my useless rambling, and I admire that. Have a great week :)

An attempt to be nice about "My Jeans"

So, after Rebecca Black's "Friday", I thought that we had finally scraped the bottom of the music barrel. 


Then Jenna Rose came along...

...and everything was much worse.

This time, however, instead of being a misery guts and complaining about the terrible music and the fact that there are ten-year-olds driving a car to an unsupervised mall trip in skirts that are too short for any girl to wear and that creepy teenage boys are taking pictures of the girls and that in the end, the jeans are just really horrible...


Sorry, rambling.


As I was saying, this time I'm going to try to salvage what I can from this train-wreck song.

Before we can proceed, you have to watch the video and hear it for yourself:

Yes, admittedly it is not the easiest song in the world to endure listen to, but it has a few positive elements. By analyzing the lyrics further I am sure that they can be found. 


Staring out my window, I brush my hair
Getting dressed to meet my friends but I don't know what to wear


So far, not the most inspiring lyrics, yet bearable nonetheless. 


Commercial shows on my TV about these cool designer jeans that I tried on at the mall
Change the channel and look what I see: 


An interesting twist?


Hannah Montana's wearing my jeans. Ashley Tisdale's wearing my jeans, Keke Palmer's wearing my jeans 
I just can't believe they wore those jeans like me 


She can't believe that they're wearing the same jeans, but she can believe in Hannah Montana? Maybe she only exists in Disney Channel world. Maybe this song is her way of trying to escape her purely electronic existance? (Admittedly, I have been watching too much Doctor Who)


Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh 
She wore those jeans like me 
Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh 
She wore those jeans like me (like me like me like me x 100000)


Just taking a wild guess, but I think they may have been wearing the same jeans that she tried on?


Staring through the mall window my fingers drew a smile 
I thought about how cool I'd look if I had them on right now 
I'm anxious, excited, they're on my mind it feels like Heelys are racing on my spine 
I just can't wait to call these my jeans 


If everyone on Earth was as excited about new jeans as miss Jenna Rose, we would have fewer wars. We'd all have Heelys racing up our spines. Doesn't it give you goosebumps?


everyone can look at me and my jeans 
I can go anywhere in my jeans but I still can't believe she wore those jeans like me 


She has granted you permission to look at her and her jeans. Such generosity in one so young.


Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh 
She wore those jeans like me 
Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh Oh Oh oo-Oh 
She wore those jeans like me (like me like me like me x10000000000000)

Again, just taking a wild guess, but they're still sharing similar taste in denim wear?


1 here comes the 2 to the 3 not it's the T.R.I. double G. 
why she got those cool new jeans that sittin' in the J.E.T. but she's fly 
you might see me in a video or a TV show, MTV, Nick, HBO 
Jenna could be a model in a fashion show--look there she goes 


This rapping dude is too random to analyse. He's rapping about a ten-year-old being a model.


ABC 123 that girl wore her jeans like me 
I bet she's mad, 'cause I look fab 
ha ha ha ha jack my swag 
sticks and stones may break my bones 
but mine look new and her's just look so o-old so o-old so o-old


Creative use of the fundamentals of reading, writing and mathematics in the first line could be an indication of a life outside of the mall. Also, the self-glorifying lyrics indicate that she may one day become a mean  plastic  socially assertive woman.


Oh my look at those jeans they should be posted in a magazine 
matter fact let me get my phone you can strike a pose 
smile for the camera FREEZE! 
What? Trig bought a new Blackberry What? Trig bought a new Blackberry What? Trig bought a new Blackberry--ah just take the picture already! 
sorry I was stuck in a daydream when I bought those jeans


The poor rapper seems to be stuck in a glitch in the matrix or something. Either that or he has amnesia and keeps forgetting his line. And why is he taking sneaky photos of her anyway? So creepy.

Ok, I've tried. There is nothing to salvage from this song. In fact, I would not be surprised if it was written for the sole intention of making the human race give up on music.


Friday and jeans: two things I love now forever tainted with the memory of these two horrible songs.


Thanks a lot.

"Ha ha ha ha jack my swag"

Scary Potter

Last week, I posted a blog about obsessed Twilight fans and how crazy they are whilst providing an extensive list of evidence to support this theory.


Well... crazy isn't limited to Twilight...


While digging through the seemingly endless banks of the internet, I came across this gem of a video. I thought I was a big fan of Harry Potter, but this dude is so obsessed, he actually thinks he is Harry Potter.


Watch the video and cringe at the scariness.

Can't even post a picture. This guy steals the show.

473 Reasons to Build a Time Machine

I'm a pretty tolerant person most of the time. I can handle weird habits and strange quirks; I can handle obsession, to a degree. What I can't handle is obsession boredering on being psychotic.

Enter the obsessive Twilight fan: a breed of human typically recognised by the shrill shrieking noise they make when confronted with images of Robert Partterson or Taylor Lautner. Typically devided into two "teams" according to their preference in unnaturally good-looking monster, Twilight fans have been known to begin huge verbal wars over Twitter and other forms of social media and these disputes are only resolved when Justin Bieber and Jonas Brother fans take over.

Now, unfortunately, the example I am about to show you (which is located on this freaky website), is only from one side of the crazy scale, but I'm sure that you will understand where I am going with this. When you get too bored or too scared to read anymore, I do carry on afterwards, so don't just leave the page :)

Here we go:

How to spot if you have 'Obsessive Cullen Disorder' (OCD):

1.You have read each of these books countless times all the way through

2. Even though you love Edward you still read all the way through New Moon over and over again because you can’t stand to miss anything
3. You cry when Edward left Bella in New Moon
4. You wanted to punch Jacob out when he kissed Bella
5. You wanted to punch Jacob out again the second time Jacob kissed Bella
6. You have the pictures of all of your books on your iPod
7. Also you have a picture of a shiny silver Volvo on your iPod
8. You hyperventilate every time you look at the picture of the Volvo
9. You screamed every time there was a flashback featuring Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix. [true story.
10. You made your friends watch the fourth Harry Potter at a sleep over and gasped/squeeled/screamed every time Cedric Diggory came onto screen.
11. When your friends went on the computer and you stayed and watched the fourth Harry Potter movie that they were bored with
12. Edward Cullen is your obsession
13. You ran around screaming when you discovered they were coming out with a Twilight movie
14. You got another one of your friends obsessed with Twilight
15. Friends of yours that have never even read the book know what kind of car every one of the Cullens drives
16. You bought a new copy of Twilight because your old one got all wrinkled.
17. You plan on buying a new copy of New Moon because the cover is crinkled
18. You plan on buying the special edition of Eclipse so you can get the poster. (Got it!)
19. You must know where all of the copies are of all of your Twilight series books at all times
20. You write E.C. on your frhand in your freakishly permanent pen and hope it doesn’t come off.
21. Your friend who has never read Twilight draws Edward on your hand and other Twilight related things and you hope it does not come off.
22. Your icons on all of your screen names relate to Twilight somehow
23. You have something related to the books as your desktop background
24. You have a screen name dedicated to ‘the books’
25. You immediately knew what I meant by ‘the books’
26. You refer to them as ‘the books’ [air quotes included.
27. You carry around all three hard cover books at all times.
28. Your goal is to have three copies of the books: one to lend, one to read over and over again, and one signed by Stephenie Meyer that you even aren’t allowed to touch.
29. You say ‘Oh my Edward’ instead of god/goodness/gosh (or any other of the characters take your pick)
30. You say shut the Edward up
31. You say ‘Oh My Flipping Edward’
32. You say ‘What the Edward’ instead of wtf
33. You get all giddy whenever you or someone else mentions something that has to do with them [yeah I said giddy; and when you, yourself mention something.
34. You have a stuffed pet named after one (or more) of the characters [I have an idog named Alice and a stuffed dog named Jasper.
35. Inanimate objects related to Twilight in some way make you think of it every time you see it [ex: apple.
36. You almost shouted ‘I wonder what Edward has seen’ when your substitute social studies teacher said ‘that the things people over a 100 year old have seen were magnificent.’ [yeah, that was the only time I was listening throughout her whole boring lecture.
37. You know that Edward Cullen is exactly 107 years old.
38. You know Edward Cullen’s birthday is June 20th 1901 even thought the exact date was never mentioned in the book (this was on wikipedia, though I don't know how they know this...)
39. You have two play lists on your iPod that remind you A LOT of the books
40. You have developed a problem where every song you hear reminds you of the books somehow
41. You plan to get all of the songs from Stephenie’s play list onto your iPod
42. You have a count down to the movie going right now
43. You are known as ‘the girl with the book’
44. You bring a copy of at least one of the books everywhere you go [I carry all three (:.
45. You deleted some songs off of iTunes because you could not find any way to relate them to the Twilight books.
46. Your English teacher is reading the books
47. You English teacher is enjoying the books
48. Your mom punishes you by taking away your books
49. This punishment she gives you [ is actually a horrible one and you go crazy.
50. You check several Twilight websites a day. 
51. You spend most of your time [if not all on the computer reading Twilight fan fictions or writing them.
52. You immediately went to find Edwardian script on the computer when you found out that there was such a font(YES!)
53. You used this font even though it was hardly legible
54. When ever someone within earshot says the name Edward ‘your tummy goes funny’
55. You used to never think twice about Robert Pattinson, but when you discovered he was playing Edward in the movie, he jumped up into your top 4 ‘favorite guys’
56. You freak out at anyone who says anything about vampires having fangs.
57. After you are done freaking out, you go into a rant about what real vampires are like.
58. You used to hate your freakishly pale skin, but now you love it because it is like the Cullen’s skin.
59. You brush your teeth a lot better now to make them whiter (like a vampire’s)
60. Because of Jacob, all of your views on werewolves have been ruined and you now despise them
61. You have one of the books open in front of you at this very moment
62. You spend your study hall in school reading instead of doing that math homework that’s due next period.
63. You have a Twilight themed birthday party where everyone has to dress up as one of the characters
64. You are jealous of people who have a signed copy of any one of the books
65. You know everything there is to know about every single Cullen [including bios
66. You saw something that said ‘Edward’ on it during a test and started giggling and your friend thought you were crazy because she could not see the can
67. You used to hate being cold but now you love it because it reminds you of vampires.
68. You over exaggerate shivers now because you can imagine Edward sitting next to you then.
69. Your mom has decided it is funny that every time you see the word Edward you squeal or gasp
70. Your mom thinks it is so funny she randomly says Edward while walking through just to hear you gasp.
71. You get extremely annoyed with yourself because you accidentally keep saying “sure, sure” by accident
72. You quote the book word for word in everyday conversation
73. Whenever anyone says something, you have to find a way to relate it to vampires or you can not respond
74. You have complete conversations that only revolve around Twilight on AIM
75. You then print these conversations out (okay, I did this once!)
76. You must stay on the dark side because vampires are on the dark side (don’t ask)
77. You rented numerous movies staring Kristen Stewart just so that you could imagine her as Bella
78. Most of the documents on your computer are fan fiction chapters and the others are just mandatory school work
79. You dream of the Cullens coming to your school
80. Your new favorite color is topaz
81. Every time you see a couple, you think Edward and Bella are better (idea from Night Owl 303)
82. You go on the Wikipedia pages for all of the Twilight characters and add stuff about how hot Edward is and all of the characters
83. You can relate to pretty much everything on this list
84. You are planning to suggest things to add to this list
85. You openly wish you had a vampire boyfriend meaning most people know it
86. You beg your grandma to let you rename her dog Edward (mine said no :( )
87. You growled at your brothers friend because he gave you an evil stare because you were laughing out loud at something from the books

So, now that I have you all sufficiently worried for the future of our human race, I have also come up with a solution.

It's so simple, it's almost brilliant.

TIME TRAVEL

Ok, of course we still have to invent a machine that is capable of such a thing, but imagine with me, if you will, the possibilities of such an option.

All you would need to do is go back in time, kill Stephenie Meyer's harddrive, burn the first manuscript and come back to a time where teenage girls aren't so creepy anymore.

I appeal to all the scientists out there:

For the benefit of all mankind, would you please, please, PLEASE, get to work on time-travel? 

Your reward will be a future without psycho vampire (if you can even call them that) obessers. 

I believe that the compelling evidence above should move you to immediate action.

So, so scary...

A/N: Also, I edited it because 473 is too much crazy for this page to handle.

If real life was like the movies

We all know that it isn't. A day in your life would prove it. However, don't we all wish that life would work out the way it does for the hero or heroine of a movie? Don't we all secretly wish life would be as easy? Well, that got me thinking about what it would be like if life imitated art and not the other way around.

1. Instead of stomping off after a shouting match, you would stare aimlessly into the distance

I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but after every argument in a movie, one of the people storm off and the other looks away and quite literally stares into the distance for as long as the editor allows the shot to continue. This is arguably one of the most surreal things in the movies. I've never had an argument where I've thought "Hmm, let me think about what just happened" right after the altercation. It's just weird.

2. You would never need to lock your car

Unless it is a direct part of the plot, cars in the movies never get stolen. This is even with the owners leaving the doors unlocked, windows open and car radios in their cradles. This combination in South Africa would guarantee the illegal removal of your car.

3. Trivial things like the laws of physics would not apply to you

If you were the hero of your story, you would be able to dodge almost anything, escape so narrowly that you should actually be dead and launch yourself off of any height and still reach your destination without so much as a  scratch. For more details see '2012'.

4. Getting onto computers would be a much noisier, less purposeful affair.

Instead of pressing a few keys and clicking a couple of times, you would need to bang aimlessly on the keys, all the while staring at the screen. To everyone else, this would look ridiculous but within seconds you would be able to access anything on the computer.

5. Your worst enemy would always have an easy password.

And they'd leave it lying around.

6. You would wake up in the morning with perfect hair and make-up.

Have you ever seen bed-head in a rom-com? Yeah, me neither.

7. If you're a cop, you will get fired at some point

It will be at the critical point of a case, you will mope, someone will visit you, you'll pursue the case anyway, you'll catch the bad-guy and somehow you'll get your job back. 

8. In a high-speed chase, the traffic magically parts for you

Cars, vans, busses, trucks, nothing is exempt. When you're the hero and you're chasing the villain, you are the boss of the road.

9. Your best friend never dies

He should - he inhaled a truckload of smoke, but somehow after the heart stops for good, the heart starts again. It's a miracle! Everyone's happy! Boom - credits!

10. If you are a nerdy male, prepare to get the girl just as you are, if you are a nerdy female, prepare for an extreme make-over

The nerdy guy, after proving his dependability throughout the adventure, eventually steals the heroines heart. The nerdy girl has to have a hair-cut, her eyebrows plucked, her wardrobe reinvented and about half a ton of make-up smooshed onto her face, just to make sure that the hero sees her personality.

So, I guess life would be better if you lived in a movie, but everything would be so predictable that you'd have to ask yourself - would you want it like that?

This picture has nothing to do with the post